A mysterious and enlightening adventure through the brackish waters of the culinary artsTumblr (3.0; @piquantexcursion)http://piquantexcursion.tumblr.com/<p><img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzgx305YPy1qh39mq.jpg"/></p> <p>With Mardi Gras season just around a few shady, dangerous corners, this chef - <strong>Heinrich Franzelbautum</strong> - has decided to bless the culinary community with his inspiring rendition of what appears to be a local traditional favorite. By combining the fine aspects of celebratory King Cake with the nightmarish fear of drowning in a sea of scrumptious dairy, this dessert is sure to delight both guests and unwilling captives alike.</p> <p><em>You&#8217;ll need&#8230;</em></p> <ul><li>4 bananas, unpeeled</li> <li>6 cups ice</li> <li>1/4 tsp vanilla</li> <li>3 fresh blackberries</li> <li>decorative rock sugar</li> <li>1 miniature baby</li> <li>pinch of celery salt</li> </ul><p>Combine unpeeled bananas, ice, vanilla, and miniature baby in blender. Remove miniature baby prior to blending because that&#8217;s just wrong. How could you.<br/>Blend continuously for 45 minutes until mixture is completely liquified and all traces of banana peel have been dissolved (&#8220;Puree&#8221; setting tends to work best). Add blackberries while still warm.<br/>Gently ladle mixture into six (6) highball glasses and top with decorative sugar and butter mixture. Garnish with baby to taste. Serves four.</p> <p>Happy Lent!</p> <p>_{May contain traces of beech nuts and other tree nuts}</p>http://piquantexcursion.tumblr.com/post/17697475897http://piquantexcursion.tumblr.com/post/17697475897Wed, 15 Feb 2012 23:27:15 -0500cocktailgluten freeasbestos freemay contain traces of nuts<p><img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz4zp9xn251qh39mq.jpg"/></p> <p>With the unfortunate trend of cereals and pastries dominating the breakfast table, trying to work a serving of vegetables into the morning meal can be difficult, if not impossible. Unable to stand for this disastrous injustice, chefs across the globe have made desperate attempts to combine the deliciosity of breakfast pastries with the nutrisiosity of vegetables. Where others strive for the harmonious consonance of flavors, however, I - <strong>Heinrich Franzelbautum</strong> - have shifted my priorities from the savory to the sonorous; what more pleasant sounding squash is there than the humble zucchini*?</p> <p><em>You&#8217;ll need&#8230;</em></p> <ul><li>3 cups most-purpose, self-rising flour (white)</li> <li>1&#160;1/2 cups sugar (also white)</li> <li>2 zucchini, peeled</li> <li>4 tsp vanilla extract</li> <li>1 cup milk (whitish)</li> <li>2 eggs (white)</li> <li>1 egg (natural)</li> <li>pinch of salt</li> <li>2&#160;mg Crunch (optional)</li> </ul><p>Combine vanilla extract, natural egg, crunch, and natural egg in separate bowl and set aside to rise.<br/>Beat remaining ingredients until slightly lumpy. If mixture has been overbeaten, additional, unflavored lumps may be added to rectify.<br/>Pour both mixtures into greased muffin tins or paper cups (white, preferably), and bake at 350 degrees for 22 minutes or until golden white. Top muffins with zucchini crumble, and remove a generous slice before photographing.</p> <p>_{* There is only one: butternut.}</p>http://piquantexcursion.tumblr.com/post/17324395559http://piquantexcursion.tumblr.com/post/17324395559Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:53:45 -0500zucchininon-toxic